I’m sitting here with a glass of wine, following another glass of wine with a dear friend. This post is a bit more personal that I have posted before, but it’s something I feel strongly about and a reason why I started Sisterhood of Style – which is to be a champion of a sister’s self confidence. We bumped into each other on our way home from work and being a Thursday, I threw going home out the window and agreed to a glass of wine. Just the one. But one was all we needed, cause sisters, she has a gift and that gift is in talking the right sort of talk and I just became mesmerised by our chat. By “being a Thursday & throwing going home out the window” I mean that I didn’t have to be the first one home to our boys, to be the dinner giver, the soccer-mom or the to bed-putter. In other words it’s all about the FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!
So we mosied up to a favourite old haunt and sat by a glowing fire and strangely for me ordered a Pinot Noir. I don’t know enough about wine to know if it was a good one, but I loved it, it warmed me, felt just right in the winter chill and it set the tone for a good old natter.
We discussed a lot at length and some things in snippets. But what struck me as I set off for home, after maximising our short time together, was the chat we had on negative self-talk stuck with me the most. So I thought I would share some more with you.
Negative self talk comes in many shapes and sizes; I’m not good enough, I’m too fat, I’m too thin, I’m not tall enough, I look fat in that, I look shite, I look, feel, think, do all sorts of wrong, I’m not good enough at that, what do I know? Shall I go on? You may have delivered one of those striking blows to yourself just this morning as your got dressed, brushed your hair, dried your body or walked into work.
Let’s press pause. Cause this is where the chat with my girlfriend got all epic and shit. She told me that when we hear ourselves say something negative, instead of telling yourself off (again), simply acknowledge the moment and then tell yourself ‘noted’. That’s it, let it be there and sit with you for a bit, but move on, don’t dwell over it and don’t believe in the thought, cause that’s all it was, a thought.
So sisters, sing from the top of your lungs that freaking Frozen song to end all songs “Let it go, let it go”. It’s not a new theory, I know that, but it’s one that keeps coming up in my Facebook feed, in Instagram posts, in books I read and in conversations I have. So it’s a “thing” and should be acknowledged.
And I have no intention of enabling that negative self talk along in any of you beautiful sisters. In fact I hope part of what I do can help silence or muffle that little biarch! I have been working with the most amazing women, in workshops and through coming into their homes editing their wardrobes or taking them shopping. Each one has made themselves so vulnerable to me and I feel a powerful sense of responsibility to help that vulnerability and nudge it through to confidence.
What I’m getting at is this. I love my styling biz, it’s a deep passion, I love sharing how to wear things and try new options daily on Instagram and Facebook. But equally, I’m comfortable and happy in my Uggs and soft pants.
(Photo taken on the same day – day to night)
Because, while a great outfit is what gives me a confidence boost and gives me an armour to face the world, I’m not afraid to dress down and not give myself grief for doing it.
But it’s not just clothes is it? We sisters can give ourselves crap about anything and everything and I hope that in reading this, you might be much kinder to yourself after and just say ‘noted’ when the thought appears and then, move on.
Be your own cheerleader, a firecracker of awesome and believe the hype – you’re gorgeous & awesome.
What do you think about that sisters?
The mother of Sisterhood of Style.